I figured that since today is April Fool’s Day and it’s also technically the last day of the work week, that I’d forgo the typical #ff (follow friday retweeting) and conduct a non-scientific survey on web analytics users on Twitter.  The question?  Not what their favorite tool of choice is, or how they measure social media — oh no — something much harder to describe.

“When you’re at a party, how do you describe what you do?”

The responses came in at a furious pace…

I spy on you when you’re online… (it makes for better conversation) Eric T Peterson, Web Analytics DEMYSTIFIED

I help companies measure the success of their website… Jim Sterne, Targeting.com

(Same thing I tell my mom:) I help people make better decisions… Avinash Kaushik, Occam’s Razor

Have you read 1984? (and people stop asking questions) Rudi Shumpert, Code by Numbers

I measure the efficacy of the campaigns I employ for our clients. Blake Robinson, blakerobinson.net

Digital marketing including web analytics… (then I get funny looks, to which I reply) …web stuff… Pritesh Patel, Digimarketing Convo

It’s a lot like an episode of 24, but less violent, and I’m way less cranky than Chloe O’Brien. (But that’s a lie, so then I say) I empower companies by giving them tools that make multi-channel customer data consumable and actionable. Kiran Ferrandino, measurethisgirl.com

I connect companies with their customers in a meaningful manner to empower stellar business decisions. (How you ask?) By combining behaviors and attitudes to produce profitable outcomes. Eric Feinberg

I aggregate user data for role identification and behavior analysis over a historical spectrum. (then I change the subject) Bryan J Bell, bjbgraphics.com

And me?

I improve websites and help companies make more money. Garry Przyklenk, Analytics-Advice.com